Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The sex of elevator voices

Elevator sex: Not sex in the elevator but the sex of an elevator, more specifically the elevator voice.

With Ms. Siri seducing so many Apple product owners, there has been discussion about the gender of voices used in digital devices but the common elevator gets short shrift.

The K-landnews received a tip about this one particular elevator in the San Francisco, CA, financial district which made us believe that gravity is defied in this building multiple times a day.

Says our tipster: "I am male, and the elevator voice is a female voice. Big deal, but wait. The elevator lady has the most soothing, sultry and, well, most sexy voice I have heard in my life. I went there to drop off a letter, and I can tell you, the voice is like a whole body experience. Imagine, you are alone in that closed elevator, and you hear that voice for the first time. It's, it's like a vocal equivalent of a satin sheet. 

And the speaker system in the elevator is, I swear, surround sound, not like these ancient, creaky, tinny speakers in one of the top corners. No, this one bathes you in sound. 

Once I came back down, all I wanted was to turn around and go straight back up. And I'm not the only one, not the first one. 

As I halted, thinking about another ride, I caught the security guard's eye. And, you don't have to believe me, but his look said 'I know what you are thinking, and you don't want to do that' - so I didn't. I left, and as I stepped out onto the street, there was this longing, this craving. It took days until I stopped trying to figure out ways to get my hands on another letter to deliver to this place."

Anybody knows the address of the building?

We'd try it out whenever we make to the Bay Area.


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