Thursday, April 11, 2013

Attempted theft: my 500 Euro note

An analyst working for -- of all places -- Bank of America wants the 500 Euro bank note taken out of circulation. Sorry, that sounds like Al Capone running an ad campaign in favor of prohibition.

We at the K-landnews were trying hard to avoid calling bankers banksters. This effort is now suspended indefinitely.

And the big German media have nothing better do do than change a few sentences in this thoughtful report and splatter it all over the internet.

The main argument for this measure: 90 of all notes are in the hands of organized crime and tax evaders. Proof?

We don't need no stinkin' proof!

The 90% is said to come from the British organized crime bureau or whatever they call it. Just throwing a number at us without explanation is a great idea, got to love it. By the way, did you know that the author of this post stands 2.5 meters tall?

To sweeten the deal for the Euro politicians, Mr. Analyst suggests the following.

Set a deadline by which all existing 500 Euro notes must be exchanged against smaller denominations. When someone shows up to do so, ask for proof that the 500 Euros were earned legitimately.

No proof, no exchange = forfeit the Euros to the European Central Bank.

As to my 500 Euro note, a single one: After arrival from the US, we got us a bank, put money in and took some out.

Answering the question of the teller: "large bills?" with an obviously negligent "sure" we had not one but four of these 500 Euro notes in our hands.

They were not easy to spend, and we kept one as a souvenir/regular savings account -- because that's the same fucking amount of interest on either.

If the pols follow the suggestion of our friend the bankster, how, sir, would I ever prove that this note came into my possession in a legit way?

And, sir, in case you haven't noticed, organized crime was doing just fine before the advent of the 500 Euro note and will continue to do so after. You know who owns all those 100 Dollar bills, don't you?

It would be ever so nice if Bank of America analysts had some time to figure out, as an example, how to make it so a savings account pays a little bit of interest.

If anybody comes for my 500 Euro note, I will light a cigarette with it, capture the event on my smartphone and put it up on YouTube.

And with Google adSense on the video, I should earn my 500 back in no time and beat the GangNam views record quite handily.

[Update] Hey, BofA, can you please fire that guy and give me his job? He is useless and a damage to your reputation.

[Update 4/8/2016] The European Central Bank will go ahead with removing the 500 Euro note. According to this article, the minimum cost of the measure will be some 500 million Euros.

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